Beliefs: Fear vs. Love - Learn from a Doctor – Cornerstone Tees

Beliefs: Fear vs. Love - Learn from a Doctor

Hey guys! 

The content below is inspired/borrowed from Dr. Becky Bailey's book Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline. It contrasts beliefs based on fear and love. This was originally directed to parents however the beliefs can be applied to any relationship. You will most likely discover the beliefs and values present in your own upbringing. There is a good way to do relationships and there is wrong way. My hope is that your connection with people will increase as you overcome fear. Remember, discipline is a lifelong journey, not just a technique so you might as well enjoy it.

Here we go...

Fear-Based Discipline

Belief Value it Teaches Children and Strengthens in Us

It is possible to make others change. Failure to make others change equals failure on our part.

When others don't do what you want, you must try to bend them to your will. Might makes right.

When we succeed in making others behave, we have power.

Power comes from overruling people.

 When we fail to make someone obey, it is their fault. We are entitled to blame them and others.

If someone does not do things your way, he or she is bad and lazy and deserves hardship.

If others would change (do as we say), we could be happy and peaceful.

Blaming others for your upset is justifiable. Other people are responsible for your behavior.

Children must feel bad in order to learn how to behave better in the future.

Revenge is the answer to life's upsets.

Conflict is bad, disruptive, and must be eliminated.

If you are good enough, conflict will never trouble you.

Fear is the best motivator for learning.


Fear is more powerful than love, and coercion is stronger than cooperation


Love-Based Discipline

Belief Value it Teaches Children and Strengthens in Us
 Changing ourselves is possible and, as parents, it is our choice to decide whether or not to change.

You are in charge. You can become the person you want to be.

By choosing to control ourselves instead of others, we will feel empowered. Power comes from within.
When things don't go our way, we will seek solutions. You are responsible for your own feelings, thoughts, and actions. Your choices have an impact on others.
In order for children to learn how to behave, they must be taught. You must teach others how to treat you. you cannot expect them to magically "know."
Conflict is an essential part of life, and it presents us with an opportunity to learn a missing skill or let go of a limiting belief. Conflict is a part of life and mistakes offer us opportunities to learn.
Love is the best motivator for learning and growth. Love is more powerful than fear, and cooperation is better than coercion.


"To teach is to demonstrate by example."

Shifting form fear to love requires you to move beyond relying on quick fixes. Change doesn't happen over night so give yourself grace and enjoy the process. Our microwave culture demands instant results. Healthy relationships and healthy hearts don't happen by accident. The question is, "How badly to you want it?" Will you fight for connection and inner growth?

Here is the amazon link to Dr. Bailey's book. I highly recommend it to parents, leaders/managers, or to the person wanting to improve their relationships with friends or family.

Hope that helps guys! Which beliefs stood out the most for you? Are there any beliefs you would add to the list? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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